sex magick for survivors
Reclaiming Your Energy
Individuals who have experienced traumatic responses to assault or abuse often suffer from long-term deregulation of the nervous system & energetic body. Consequently, we often feel as though our energy is scattered or spread too thin which can lead to brain fog, disembodiment, hypervigilance, overwhelm, & burn out. Thankfully, it is possible for us to reclaim our energy from traumatizing experiences in order to reestablish a sense of rootedness & peace.
The following ritual can be used to reclaim your energy & establish a consistent self-care routine that helps you feel supported, grounded, & empowered. It is meant to be done in a bathtub but can certainly be applied to a shower, ocean, lake, river, or any other body of water that feels cleansing & supportive to you. Take what works, leave what doesn’t, & trust your intuition.
Prepare your ritual space by gathering important tools (herbs, oils, salts, tarot/oracle decks, crystals, candles, etc.), shutting off all distracting electronics, & putting on some relaxing music
Draw the bath & add in any herbs, oils, or salts for protection, relaxation & peace
Recommendations: sea salt, lavender, rosemary, rose oil, peppermint
Cast your circle of protection by envisioning a circle of white light surrounding your bathtub & welcome any spirits, guides, or ancestors who you would like to work with
Slip into the water & envision yourself cradled inside of a primordial womb space. Pay attention to the warmth of the water on your skin, the sense of safety & comfort that arises, & the supple ways that your body begins to unfold & release with ease
Mentally scan your body for any tension, stress, fear, or anxiety that it may be holding. Begin at the top of your head & travel all the way down to the bottom of your feet, being careful not to skip over any body part. Some body parts may be asking for gentle pressure or self-massage. Listen to your body & give it what it needs
Begin to call your energy back to yourself by envisioning a strong, vast network of tentacles reaching out to people, places, & situations that took a toll on your energetic body. It helps if you verbally assert the reclamation of your energy by saying, “I take my energy back from ______. It does not belong to you, it never did.”
Notice how different your physical & energetic bodies feel now that you have taken the time to care for them. Allow the water to drain from the tub, imagining all the stagnant, burdensome energy washing down the pipes
Close your practice however you’d like. Thank yourself for taking care of you.
It’s important to clarify why this ritual is considered “sex magick”. For those of us who have experienced sexual assault and/or sexual abuse, it can be too intimidating or potentially re-traumatizing to engage in genital stimulation or penetration, either partnered or solo. By divorcing our perception of sex from the cisgendered, heteronormative assumption of penis-in-vagina penetration, we begin to understand that any intentional pleasurable experience can be considered sex. As a consequence, spending intimate alone time with your body can be viewed as sex (and thus sex magick) if you choose to see it as such.
Moving forward, remember to be soft with your body, compassionate with your soul, & ruthless with your physical & energetic boundaries. Healing from assault or abuse is a lifelong process. You will have difficult days, empowering days, & everything in between. If you can, try to implement an energetic reclamation ritual into your weekly (or better yet, daily) routine. With consistency over time, you will begin to recognize profound shifts in your healing work.
Go slow & take care of yourself however you need to.
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