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let's talk about boundaries

Energetic Cord Cutting

There is an energetic cord that links us to every person that we develop a close connection with (parents, siblings, friends, mentors, intimate partners, etc.). This cord is so strong that even after this person has physically left our lives, their energy still lingers within our auric field & has an influence over our thoughts, behaviors, memories, & overall sense of well-being. In order to enforce our boundaries, prioritize our peace, & find our own sense of closure, we need to cut the cord that keeps us linked to this other person’s energetic field. 

The following ritual can be used to assist you in setting clear energetic boundaries with an individual who you no longer want to be connected to/influenced by. Take whatever works, leave what doesn’t, & listen to your intuition.

Cord Cutting Ritual

  • The only required materials for this ritual are a pen, piece of paper, & lighter/matches. Gather all of the materials that you want to work with (tarot/oracle decks, journal, herbs, crystals, protection talismans, candles, etc.) & set up your ritual space.

  • Cast your circle of protection & invoke any spirits or ancestors that you would like to be supported by in your practice.

  • On a blank sheet of paper, write out the full name of the person that you would like to cut ties with. Next, write out all of the reasons why you are cutting the energetic cord that attaches you to them.

  • Close your eyes & visualize this person seated in front of you. Notice that there is a cord that links you to them. Pay attention to where that cord attaches on both of your energetic bodies & what that cord looks like (texture, color, width, length, temperature, etc.). 

  • Take some time to read the list of reasons why you must cut this energetic cord out loud to them. The other person may try to interrupt or change your mind…don’t let them.

  • When you’ve finished reading your list, tell the person that you release them. Envision yourself cutting the energetic cord that links the two of you, visualizing whatever tool you need in order to completely sever the connection (scissors, shears, bolt-cutters, etc.).

  • Ask them to leave your space. Watch them go.  If they attempt to turn around & re-enter your space make it clear that you are finished with the energetic connection.

  • Take the piece of paper that you wrote everything on & burn it to signify the final release of the connection. Release the ashes into the wind or bury them somewhere outside. Thank yourself. Thank the spirits who assisted you. Close your practice however you’d like.

  • Pay special attention to the part of your body where the energetic cord was attached as it may need some extra care & attention over the next few days while it heals.

It’s important to clarify that a cord cutting ritual will not necessarily remove this person from your life entirely. It will, however, sever the connection that you two shared which means that their presence in your life will not have the same impact that it once did. Cutting the energetic cord between you will make it significantly easier to assert your boundaries without guilt or apology. It may even allow you to re-enter into some form of a relationship with this person from a healthier place if you feel like it is safe & fruitful to do so.

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